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"Faith like a Ketchup Seed"
It's Not the Faith of a Mustard Seed,but It Still Guides Me through Lifeand Tastes Great on Hot Dogs.
From the author of "Holy Laughter!" and "John 3:16 Beautiful Savior":
Essays, blog posts, Bible studies, devotions, short stories, stand-up routines, even a skit and a sci-fi tale.
The Table of Contents:
"Proverbs, Parables, & Ponderings"
"A Godly, Christian Way"
"Thank God I'm Not God"
"The Water-Walking Shuffle"
"Divinity Is Hard!"
"The Dissected Body of Christ"
"Second Baptist Church"
"God's Biggest Mistake"
"Too Lazy to Feed the Lions"
"The Mediocre Samaritan"
"What Would Jesus Do?"
"Fast Food Royalty"
"Sometimes I Pray with a British Accent"
"How to Sanctify Unsavory Songs"
"You're a Christian What?!"
"Breakfast Cereals of the Bible and the People Who Love Them"
"Forward Phobia: Evil Emails"
"Who Was the Greatest Comedian in the Bible?"
"The Comedy Concept Behind 'Holy Laughter!'"
"Hey Dude! Hey!"
"Across the Multiverse"
"What If People in the Bible Had Their Own Games?"
"May I Ask You an Intensely Personal Question?"
"Upside-Down Sharks Prove the Existence of God"
"Lessons from the Yard"
Church Skit: "Interview with Jesus"
"For Best Results"
"An Ice Memoir (One Molecule Can Make a Difference)"
"Why Do I Want to Walk on Water?"
"Life's Most Profound Question".
Does being a writer give me a God complex? I saith unto thee no, but I doth wish thou shalt have no other writers before me; and thou shalt not take my name in vain.
Walking on water -- is that so much to ask? Some lakes are so polluted now it's hard not to.
I tried being my own god. But I gotta tell ya': Divinity is hard! I don't know how God does it.
We'll get to Heaven and hear how Christians from other countries were martyred for their faith. And we'll be like "The cable once went out for an entire weekend!"
Sure, it sounds wrong. But the TV preacher told me as long as I tithe I can pretty much do whatever I want.
Can we really fulfill all our minimum daily requirements with just one bowl? If that's the case, let's eat a bowlful and go back to bed. We're done for the day.
I must have the worst friends in the world. They send me evil emails that say, if I don't forward them, to at least five friends within five minutes, my spleen will explode.
Ponder the platypus for a moment or two. And remember, those existed long before nuclear accidents, cigarettes, and cell phone towers.
Contemplating the fact that God sees her every deed, hears her every word, and knows her every thought, Maria threw her notepad on the table. "Either You order the chicken noodle; or heal a leper; or I'm having You thrown out of here!"
Pharaoh dominates when playing "Pyramid". And Moses rules with "The Power of Ten".
Why do we think God will be more likely to answer our prayers favorably the more we furrow our brows?
Lots of laughs for less than a gallon of gas.
Parody, satire, silliness. Some strong theological points. Mostly comedy. The skit gets serious; and so does what my pastor calls the strangest telling of the Gospel ever: "An Ice Memoir (One Molecule Can Make a Difference)".
Learn my theories that prove the existence of God. Wonder why an ice cube can make you cry. Find out why I'm obsessed with wanting to walk on water. Laugh guilt-free.
If you enjoy "Holy Laughter!", you'll love this too. Good, clean fun. And I mean that, in a Godly, Christian way.
Blessings & Joy,
The Dean James Version
P.S. Before you buy this book, check out "Holy Ketchup Seed Comedy Combo" on Kindle.
In this breathless and hilarious followup toWindswept, former labor organiser Padma s worst nightmare comes true: she gets yanked out of early retirement. After buying her favourite rum distillery and settling down, she thought she d heard the last of her arch nemesis, Evanrute Saarien. But Saarien, fresh out of prison for his misdeeds inWindswept, has just fabricatedanew religion, positioning himself as its holy leader. He s telling his congregation to go on strike, to fight the system. And unfortunately, they re listening to him. Now Padma s summoned by the Union president to help stop this strike from happening. The problem is, she s out of practice. And, the more she digs, the more she realises this whole strike business is more complicated than the Union president let on File Under Science Fiction[ Fraud Almighty / City on Fire / Let s Be Reasonable Please / All Outta Bubble Gum ]"
Propose Like a Man is about preparing you for one of the most important actions you'll ever take (whether you know it or not), giving you insight to help you determine your own "best right way" to propose, and taking you through some of the important details like buying a ring and capturing the big moment for perpetuity. This book is about getting you to view your proposal with the proper respect so that it will be right, perfectly memorable, and as exciting as anything you'll ever do.
How to Buy a House in 2014Here's what's inside... TODAY'S MARKET EXPLAINED! HOW TO BUY A HOUSE IN A HOT MARKET. HOW TO GET YOUR OFFER ACCEPTED! HOW TO OFFER MORE MONEY TO THE SELLER! HOW TO COMPETE WITH INVESTORS AND WIN! HOW TO MOTIVATE THE SELLER'S AGENT TO PLACE YOUR OFFER ABOVE ALL THE OTHERS! HOW TO APPEAL TO THE SELLER ON A NON FINANCIAL LEVEL! HOW TO COMPARE AND CHOOSE THE RIGHT HOUSE FOR YOUR FAMILY! HOW TO FIND HOUSES THAT INVESTORS CAN'T COMPETE ON! FINDING SPECIAL GOVERNMENT PROGRAMS FOR BUYERS LIKE YOU! HOW TO BUY A HOUSE IN A COMPETITIVE MARKET. NEW VERSUS USED HOMES! SAVE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS WITH A TEN DOLLAR INVESTMENT! THE HOME BUYING BOOK FOR SMART PEOPLE!!!
Elmo can quack like a duck, slither like a snake, hop like a frog, and do other things that animal friends do. And Elmo encourages little kids to be active and play right along with him. This small but chunky board book, just the right size for little hands, has a finger puppet of Elmo's head built right into it (his body is illustrated in various animal poses) for maximum play value and a mega-dose of fun.
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